Surprise!

EXHAUSTED>>>>>>>>>>>>>Yes that says it all. I had a suprise visit with my father and step mom yesterday and they ended up leaving today.OH DEAR. It was a nice visit, and I enjoyed it, but I now feel better about puching Arkansas aside. We still don't want to totally disregard it, but for the present we don't think thats what needs to be done. I hope fear isn't involved, but right now all I can think of going down there for is money, and I don't like that. Its this bad? I don't have a slightest clue, but this computer thing is really flaring our nostrils and is defintely something that Scott and I can really get into. We've had some fun jolts and stabs with it getting started, but here soon we should have all of the bugs worked out . LOTTA INFO! But we're going to deal. And just think , our kids will be 7 & 9 years old and know how to build a computer. Very cool. Mikah is very curious about the whole deal. I can't blame him. I guess I need to go hom and sleep. I took a hard hit last night..............................Whoops!

Worries: My mother-in-law has been in the hospital the past two days, because she thought she was having a heart attack. Well, they did a heart catheter and found no blockage. PRAISE BE TO GOD! But there is still an unknown problem, so they are going to try to find out what it is. Please put her in your prayers. I know she's worried like crazy along with the rest of us.

Mikah's epiphany

First a quick great story that I forgot to put up yesterday. Saturday, we threw a birthday party for my baby girl, Kiara who just turned two on Wednesday. My mom and my mom-in-law both got her the new Care Bears that sing songs and sing with each other when they are close by. If you have been around my daughter she absolutely LOVES Care Bears. The ones she got were both different from the other, one was mint green, and the other orange. They even have different voices. Well, anyways, my son Mikah was playing with them while Kiara was taking a nap. He sat them acrossed from another, and just sat back and watched them talked to each other, and then sing a song together. He sat back in wonder. Mouth open, and by the expression on his face you can tell that his gears were turning to figure out how this is possible. After they sang all of the songs, he looks at us and says:, "HEY! They are singing in different dialects!" This guy is four years old! This is the part where all of the grown-ups in the room drop there job in wonder. Where did he hear that? Wha?????whe??????Wha??????? It befuddled us. I understand what he was talking about, just as simple as this. what he meant was they both talked differently....their voices were different. Fun STuff!

Scrubba-scrubba---------DID YOU HEAR THAT?


I was washing some dishes today, when I put in a cd I created for my own 'female rock vibes/bluesie way to also mellow it out' ,when I heard a song I haven't heard in a long, long time. It was Des'ree. Check out these lyrics. It just fits nicely and is going to be heard more often.

Crazy Maze

Money don't make my world go round.
I'm reaching out to a higher ground.
To a warm and peaceful place. I can rest my weary face.

Life's answers we try to find. Battling inside our minds.
Where do I go from here? Will all my friends be there?

Chorus:
Cause we're living, we're living in a crazy maze.
And we're fighting, we're fighting to rise above the haze.
Light's at the end of the tunnel. The journey may be long.
There are many theories. Who's right and who's wrong?

The pressure's on, I have to choose. I have nothing to lose.
I close my eyes I take a chance. Now I dance a different dance.

What's the key to a happy life? A healthy mind and lots of spice.
Running barefoot through the trees. That's my idea of free.

Chorus:
Cause we're living, we're living in a crazy maze.
And we're fighting, we're fighting to rise above the haze.
Light's at the end of the tunnel. The journey may be long.
There are many theories. Who's right and who's wrong?

I pack my bags, I'm on my way. Don't know where I'm gonna stay.
I'm on the train bound destiny. I can set my spirit free.

Cause we're living, we're living in a crazy maze.



TA--DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Didn't that just ROCK! Okay, okay. I might think about calming down about this later......................maybe not!

I was thinking just a little bit ago about the movie Bandits and also remembering how great the movie was. Twists and turns, and unexpected events it woo's the brain. Throughout the movie you find yourself cheering for the convicts to get away. I guess what I'm really wondering if this allows the world to imprint the opposing thoughts we are trying to avoid. Maybe, maybe not. Mind over matter? Can we control those thoughts that go through by subliminal messaging? I don't know, just a thought.



Also, how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Toostie roll pop? Here are some other doozies.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIARA!!!!!!!!!


My baby is now two and on a potty roll! Last night and today she has been very willing to sit on the potty. This rocks! She is recognizing little bits here and there as to what she needs to do. She even went once yesterday! YOU GO GIRL! We plan to celebrate her birthday this Saturday so that all of the close family people can come together and have fun. This doesn't happen very often where my family and Scott's family intertwine, so this is very cool. It just doesn't happen due to everyone's busy schedules and such, so bring'em all together and cake'em up and have a blast!

I watched my nephew today. So I had a four year old, a three year old, and an almost two year old in the house running around. Talk about an adventure! They were pretty good for me , so I can't complain.

Its things like this story that makes you want to say something.

What's with all of the rubbish we create?

Three days until Kiara's Birthday!


Yes this means more toys, chocalate cake, and reflection of the past two wonderful years my angel has given us. She's getting more beautiful by the day. I didn't think that was possible! Scott and I already decided that since everyone's getting her presents, we will get Mikah one since they're still young, and this will avoid any arguements and fights. I hope it works.

Looking at the Light

I've been researching a side learning thing for medical transcription courses that I can do at home. I believe I would be better off learning at my own pace at home with the kidlings than to go to the building and have more expenses at hand. This is something I could do at home job wise, and make a living as well. Plus we can do it anywhere. If we feel God's tug, we can leave and go and I can take my work on the road. Yay! We'll see what I find and all that fun stuff and take it from there.

I've been doing better lately. My husband would joke with me and say its all in my head, (due to the fact that I'm crazy and all...but this is okay with me) and some days I would have to say I agree with him. Emotions can really suck at times. They can over take you before you even realize what emotion you are experiencing. Most of the time I do feel crazy, but really all I'm feeling is human. Its been over a month since we lost the baby and I really think I'm doing nothing but improving.

Brand names
Taking pop culture to a new level, some Americans are naming their children after consumer products
By Gene Edward Veith

People are starting to name their kids after consumer products. This is very worldly, and I can't say it doesn't surprise me. The possessions of this world I guess have that kind of importance. But I guess I can't say anything. My daughter was named after a character off of The Lion King II. I couldn't help it! I heard the name and fell in love.

Drained. Will a part time job cure this?
Exhausted. I still don't know what from.
Broken. Only God can fix this one.
Sensitive. Where did that come from?
Worthless? No, but feels as such.

I wake up day by day more tired. I feel as though I can't sleep enough. During the day while I'm at home with the kids, I drag more and more. Of course I will never be able to compete with their energy, but most of the time I feel that I can't even follow. Pain is felt more and more. We'll see how it goes.

My son is definitely becoming a little Scotty Miller by the day. He was just playing earlier, and out of no where asked, "Who made God?" I stepped back, and said, "Whoa! You're going to ask God that yourself, when you meet him." What else was there to say?

I've been very intolerable of my surroundings here lately. The place is cluttered wall to wall with a bunch of stuff that doesn't belong to me. I try and try to clean, but by the time I am done, it still doesn't look clean. Stuff is still everywhere, and I can't seem to get comfortable like that. Finally today. I vented to God about the whole thing. After praying, I finally came to what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me. I got up, and decided that I was going to turn my bedroom into a get away. A place where there is little to no clutter. A place where I can go after cleaning, and just RELAX. This relaxing thing isn't easy for me. Not at all. There's always something to do. Even if I sit down, doesn't mean I'm relaxed. I always have something working hard, whether I like it or not. I also realized that when I can't change what is bothering me, then change myself.

Did I just say that?

Change. It's easy to say, but how can you change into something that you are totally unfamiliar with? I don't know which direction to go with this one. Hopefully I will get myself in gear and dig into God a little more and figure it out.

Hello world! Things are looking brighter at the end of this tunnel. Hopefully I can say more later.

Recognize these people?

I never know what to say in this thing anymore. Whatever works at the time, I guess. My family is in a non-stop search for what God wants from us, as well as does He care which way we turn. Do we have a choice where we will have His approval no matter what? That has been a brain stopper. This is my brain: Iwant to move to Texas, but I don't want to have to move a thousand miles away from my mom while leaving her by herself. I want to work at home and homeschool the kids, as well as show the people we love here what we have been talking about for so long. The emerging church. There's a definite need here. And every place is to be different, but joined. We haven't had much experience with it so far, but that's why I want to start something here. Not right now, but when Scott and us move (If its anywhere near here), then we could gather up those people who have been talking about this, and stir the pot and get it going. I'm not sure if I'm a leader or not, but I know that I can at least start a pretty good fire when there is need. But I also want the experience of it too, before I start a fire that will blow out quickly.

This is why we have meditation. My problem is that my whole self is always on the go. This is why I have trouble paying attention to a long sermon, and another why I can't pray the way I want to. I am hoping to fix this problem. We have a prayer night at our church where we sit down with a huge list of prayer concerns, and pray for each individual on that list. I have done this by myself once, but I had to take breaks because my thoughts would start rolling. We are going to have an annointing ceremon this weekend. I think this is an enormous step for this church. I think it is well needed, everywhere. I just learned about what it was tonight.

Someone once put a mirror to my face and asked me what I saw. I wanted to say Jesus, but I knew that wasn't true. Not by how I live my life. There's love in there, yes, but mostly a lot of frustration and confusion due to the busy brain waves fluttering through my brain of gorging thoughts. I'm selfish, picky, and impatient. I let other poeple's emotions imprint my own in seconds. Everytime I'm around someone who is angry, I turn so quickly, I don't know what hit me. I get angry and depressed so fast, and I never know what to do to get rid of it. I try to act like I'm fine, but I can't vontrol this person sometimes. I have fallen from my path and I feel it is because I strived too hard to get on the right path I just lost it all together. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone, but this is what goes through my sinking mind.