Another day-another thought. Can anyone really hear me. I sit here now in total blackness waiting for God's voice, but I keep hearing---wait. Okay, but what do I do while I'm waiting?

My brother is already showing his true colors about HIS role in the business, my sister is trying to push her opinions on my family and what would work, my mom isn't letting out the steam she needs to, so she is off in her own world, my husband is tangled in knots about everything, my son is absorbing our frustration and showing it to us, my daughter just doesn't know what to think except for that this is all normal, our babysitter that we found the same day was caught sleeping while watching 10-15 kids, 2 of them our own, so now we get to find another babysitter, but the only one we can find in the paper is her................Yup, this is the kind of stuff to drive a person batty, a person nutty. So many choices in such a little time.....Just need to breathe and try to relax. Just got to step back and let God take over. What else can I do? I grew up needing to know the future possiblilities, being in control....I grew up knowing that I need to be as independent as possible. My single mother who raised us three kids by herself had only her to rely on, and I was taught to be the same way......

We'll get there. This is faith we need to step out on, not solid ground, or a sturdy bridge, but the invisible hand of God. We need to know that what He may have, we may not see or hear, let alone understand. We need to take that leap of faith and become DEPENDENT on Him, and only Him. My son could tell you that no matter what you need to follow God...He's only four. He can tell you that you need to trust in God......He's still only four. Our roles in this world parent/child are swapped often. Us grown-ups need to be more child-like when we follow God. Trust it because the Father says...Know it because it was told. Believe, not because you can see it or hear it, but because it has to be. Kids don't question many things when taught by their parents, because they had to trust their parents since the point of birth----THEY HAD NO CHOICE. We do......Here we go and take a dive...

Hey, another day has gone by and so much has happened! My siblings and I have a store now! Rock on! I also have just started my six day off fiasco! I need to go to bed, but I'm too wired.....too much caffiene, I suppose. But if it weren't for that I would have fell asleep at work last night....Big No-No. Work was the same as it ever was. My Pod-leader ( No not from the Pod People) came in all grouchy because it was suppose to be her day off, but our consumer stayed home from class cause he had stomach flu. She's not too much of a morning person anyways. My consumer was okay, just a little groggy. I was out with him the other night and someone asked me if I was scared working with him, because of his size. (he's 6'2" at 320lbs.) . They don't understand that even though he may have a temper, he would never do anything like that to anyone. He's just a big bear. I guess that still amazes people though. I don't even think about it anymore, cause I know him and how to calm him down too. Work-work-work.

I get to play with my kids for 6 days!!! It's like a huge present. Unfortunately Scott has to work today and Friday (maybe, depending on the weather), but I will still get to see him Thursday and all weekend, so I can deal. I'm trying to find better ways to construct my down time at work, (which is about 8 hours straight!) I wrote a song last night---never knew I had it in me...and then I wrote a "want poem", then the rest of the time I watched movies, and played a computer game on my sister's laptop. Yee-haw!

Well, I suppose I best close----this time with a prayer:

Heavenly Father, I just want to thank you for all that you have done, all that you are doing, and all that you will do. Thank you for clearing my mind these past couple of days to see the light of day, instead of doubt and worry. Please let my family find the way you wish for us to go. Right now every person in my family is going through something very trying, please be with them and help them through these hard times as you prepare them for something down the road. In Christ's name I pray----Amen!

Yay! So far it looks as though I get the time off I need to go to Texas in October! I've asked for the 1-7 off, so that we have 5 whole days there. 3 for Cairn, and two for job/apartment hunting!!!!! Rock on! I've also just found out yesterday that I have six whole days off in a row! This is awesome. i get to have my garage sale this weekend, and spend lots of time with my family. Scott was a little down cause we haven't seen much of each other in the past four days with him working now, but I reminded him of what our goal was. he's just tired of having to be ready to go by 4am, YUCK! But hey we are more than capable, God-willing.

I'm also getting very excited to see what is to come in the next few months. God definitely has something up His sleeve in the lives of a lot of people I know. My family is going through trials left and right and one day when I was starting to get down about it, God placed this thought in my mind: How is this going to make this person stronger? How is this going to prepare this family for my will? How is this going to benefit them later? ; I can't wait! So many things so little time in one big family! Well, I've got to go to work now, I love you all!!!!!!

Well our kids survived the babysitter, and so did the parents. I'm not too sure about Mama Phyllis, she had to drop them off for us, and it was really hard for her. She'll get better with it as time goes by. I guess my daughter took buckets of dirt and dumped them on top of her head most of the afternoon at the sitter's. When I got there to pick her up, sis was only in a diaper, and she was getting wiped down. The bucket of water the sitter had to wash her with was blackened by the time she was done. She was absolutely filthy! I thought it was funny. Plus to top that off, when we went to eat at Burger King, she had a cherry slushy and the lid popped off and spilled all over her clothes. Yuck! Well, that was fun.

Scott survived his first day of work. Said he used muscles he never knew he had before. And the goofball got sunburnt on the back of his neck. TIRED. I want to sleep, but I have to go to work...........I suppose I can find something to do there..bleeee-blah-blog.

This is my new blog- I got tired of the last one. Maybe this will work out better.