Some Great News

I went to the doctor Wednesday and found out some great news. I don't have pre-ecclampsia. This is great news, although since I'm far enough along in the pregnancy, it would have been safe to deliver, but defintely great news. We've had a couple of days where I had practice contractions starting to become regular, but they stopped. Scott is defintely on edge with excitement for the baby to come. He's so cute when he gets all giddy! He's a good daddy, and I'm so lucky to have him.

It has been a strange week. I have had some awesome experiences as well as some troubling ones. I would like to start with the good for now, cause I want to share these praises as well as acknowledge them.

* I am finally at the okay gestation period where it is okay to have this baby
* Also, after the long hauled pregnancy, I'm almost done, just four more weeks to my due date :)
* I'm beginning to recognize more of what is going on with my spiritual journey and believe that I've made a decent first step back into it
* I had an extremely wonderful conversation with Bea over the phone, and I must say it was very inspiring and encouraging to hear from her. I can't wait for more conversations with her.
* Also Bea is pregnant as well and is due to have her baby VERY soon, and so far her and the baby are well
* I feel my relationships over the internet are growing stronger and really am excited about talking with these people, and also feel like a bond is growing between me and some of the girls I have talked with
* My nephew had an allergy test done last week and it all came out negative
* My nephew is only a couple of weeks away from seeing a dermatologist for his bad skin condition
* My son never ceases to amaze me; he read quite a few sentences to me and daddy out of the blue a couple of days ago, and keeps pushing himself to learn learn learn
*My daughter and I have been having the best conversations lately. I'm finally learning some of the mystery that goes on inside her head. She is talking my ears off and I'M LOVING IT!
* Scott is most likely going to be getting a promotion at Starbuck's, and he's thrilled about it as well are we are so proud of him
* I'm finally headed in a good direction when it comes to schooling. I'm going back to college, and found out that as long as they have the classes available, I can start my first full semester online and at home! I will still have to go in for tests, but this is AWESOME news!
* Also I've been talking back and forth with a woman here in Indy that I really feel connected with and I feel our relationship has nothing to do but grow
I'm sure there is more, but this is all I can think of now.

Now for the prayer concerns and what's been troubling me lately:

There's a girl I mentioned in my last blog or two that had her baby too early. I learned two days ago her baby had past away. Her mother is a wreck, as to be expected. Her and her boyfriend are really shook up about it all and are starting to question God's motives as well as purpose. This is of course natural, but she suffered from depression before this traumatic experience. Please keep her in your prayers and hearts.

Also the woman I have been connecting with has just been put on bed rest with her pregnancy. She is carrying triplets and the doctor just put her on strict bedrest. Strict bed rest is no fun at all, but is necessary at times to keep the babies healthy. Please pray for her and her husband, and the lil fam growin inside her.

I was told by the doc last week that I might have a disease condition called pre-ecclampsia (sp). I will find out for sure tomorrow if I do and will keep you all posted. Pre-ecclampsia can effect your kidneys and liver and can be very dangerous, and the only cure would be to deliver. Its scary, but I am thankful I am close enough to have the baby safely if need be.
I've been showing more symptoms of it more and more, but hopefully its all in my head, ha ha. Find out soon!

Kiara has been acting odd lately. I'm not sure if this is a normal growing stage or if something is really bothering her. She's been very sensitive lately, and bursts into tears so easily over everything. Her cry sounds like a bad hurt cry and makes me wonder why she does this. Just yesterday she just barely tried to open a drawer and within a second knowing it was hard to open she cried like crazy. This has been going on for over a week or more, and just concerns me. Any advice would be helpful on this, I'm not sure if I should be stern with her, comfort her, or what. I want it to stop, but am having a hard time trying to figure out what is best. There's tough love, but if something is bothering her mentally then I think that would do more dammage, but if she's just doing this for attention, then I don't want to comfort her and keep the fire going.

A woman from our church group got a phone call letting her know her mother was in the hospital with a stroke. I heard recently it wasn't a massive stroke, but please keep her in your prayers, as well as her family. I will find out more soon.

Thank you everyone for listening, and for the prayers.

I've been in a tight struggle with myself for quite awhile. My spiritual part of me is starving, and I've no one to blame but myself. I crave it, miss it....I am depreived of the freedom God has allowed me. My laziness has overcome it, and I am back at the bottom of the ladder, that goes up to my path. Right now it doesn't feel like a journey, it feels like a stopping point, and to go on, I'm not sure what to do. I feel almost empty and have needed to just know that I can do it, and I am worthwhile to do it. I pick up the Bible, and am quick to set it down. I can't seem to find a peace in it all. I'm searching backwards with my eyes closed, and wish I could change my view. I will breathe once again, and hopefully change this dry road I find myself on.

What's goin On

Another day without the kids, and the house is empty as ever. I slept in a great deal today, which was quite odd, but still nice. These past couple of weeks I've felt nothing but exhaustion wearing down on me, so I am trying my best to use this time to relax. Last night we went over to Matt and Lori's for prayer and fireworks. It was fun. I stayed in the house with a little girl who was scared of the fireworks. Before this time spent, she had been cautious of me, but during and after this, she warmed up to me very fast, and even went to sit on my lap a couple of times! It was nice to get out of the house. I don't do that too often anymore.

I've been keeping communications with a girl who was pregnant, and soon found out she had her baby 3 months early. Her baby girl, Gwen weighs at 2 lbs, 6 oz. I am still waiting on an update, but I will let you all know as time comes. The mother is 15 and so scared for her daughter. I can only imagine what she's going through.

A praise needs to be let known. My nephew Gaven, who suffers from severe eczema all over his body, finally has an appointment with a dermatologist. My sister has been trying forever to get her doctor to refer him, but the doctor wanted to try somethings first. This poor kid has dealt with this long enough, and I hope that the dermatologist can help. I'm still not sure what's going on with his tonsils and adenoids, I know he hasn't been to the specialist yet, but we will see if he still needs the surgery soon.

I just have one question, not for anyone in particular, but something to be out there: WHAT IS IT WITH MY FAMILY'S BIRTHDAYS? The past two birthdays we've had in the family, I've went to the hospital for crampy pain. I went on Mikah's birthday and yesterday on my mom's birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!) The last time it was only a bladder infection, but yesterday when they hooked me up to the machine it showed I was having contractions. Not labor contractions, which is good, but sucks because they had to give me this medicine to stop it all and my doc put me on bed rest. I called our family buddy Matt to come save the day and help me with the kids, (which I will say it again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!) while I went home and kept my feet up. I'm only on bedrest until the 7th of July, and then my doc will see if it needs to be prolonged and what not. I called my fam in Monticello, and my mother-in-law has been missing her grandbabies like crazy and jumped on the occasion to steal the kids until the 5th. This is the first time we've had a long break from the kids. And I must say, this being the first day not having to take care of the kids, this is soooooooooo weird. I actually had the whole house to myself last night for a couple of hours when Matt had the rugrats. That hasn't happened since I've been here. It was nice I watched some rented movies and just relaxed. I've needed that for so long. Today is going to be even stranger, because I'll have about six hours of house to myself! I'm sure I'll talk with some friends on the net and watch some movies, soak in the tub and blast my Loreena McKennet cd, and drink my caffiene free pepsi (I know, what's the point of it being caff free, but its best for right now). I might have Scott rent me some movies for tomorrow or something so I don't go nuts. Or I can try to pick up a book and try reading. At least tomorrow Scott will be home most of the day, so I can spend some time with him. Well I guess here's to the start of a freely relaxed day (CLING)(imagine that was my wine glass of apple juice hitting yours :) } Take care everyone.