Another night at work, and I'm just chilling out. I was with the company of my new friend that lives here in the building, but she had to go to bed. She's going with my family today to my mother-in-law's birthday thingy. She hasn't met my family yet and I've wanted her to meet them for awhile now. I just got done watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Awesome movie! Loved every bit of it. Confusingly enough I can really relate to gollum when I quit smoking last December. Thank Jesus it only lasted me three days. The part where he is constantly arguing with himself about whether to do the right thing or not. And then he finally tells his bad part to leave and never come back, and once it was gone he started dancing around screaming that he was free. Yup-yup that was me alright. It normally takes people years to get over the cravings every now and then, but it only took three days with the help of God.

I'm not too sure of what to get Scott's mom for her birthday. She's got so many "God Praising" pictures, books, plaques, pens and much more that I don't want to get her something unless it will be useful. Also yesterday was the first anniversary to Scott's and my second wedding! Weird, I never quite know what expression I'm going to get when I tell that to people. Well, I'm sure one of these days I'll post it. Maybe tomorrow or something. We'll see. I can never think of anything positive to write on my blog anymore. I am just getting over a cold, same with Scott and I guess here lately we have been grouchy and miserable with each other lately. I'm going to try to break that habit, and start writing mostly positive things so I don't spread my ugliness. I know its good to vent sometimes, but I can only vent when I get feedback and I never do on this thing. Oh, hello!!!!!!!! I almost forgot------HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHYLLIS!!! The big 50! +++++++++++++++Love ya Babe!


Well, I always feel as if I'm talking to myself on this thing and then share that fact with the world. My husband gets a lot out of blogging, but I never do. I just write stuff then post it, wondering if I just wasted my time, or made someone else's day a bad one. I guess I'm one of the few that just don't get it. Oh well, whatever works.

Another friend of mine that lives here told me yesterday that he doesn't want me to move. I told him that no matter where we go it won't be close, because we don't want to be in this small town crud anymore. Too few people packed together with too much or too little time for anyone else. All we have is our family and we can't live with them anymore. I feel that if I do stay here, then we as a family won't be too good on our walk with God and this family could easily fall apart without God. I tried to explain it to him, but he doesn't understand.

He has been going to the church building for all of his life. When we discuss anything about God and Christ, he waits for me to speak my opinion and then he will agree. He is very unsure about what he should and shouldn't do when it comes to his walk. He goes to all of the bible studies, and vacational bible school, the huge dinners, and whatever else they may hold at church. But he is so weak in his walk with God, that he probably only goes to church out of habit. He asked me yesterday if I thought he should be baptized with water at his church. This threw me off because I mistakenly assumed that he would know this stuff. I basically told him that he should ask himself that. He then asked why people should do it. I told him no one NEEDS to do it or should do it. It is only a symbol to God and God alone of what Christ did for your salvation. Nothing more, nothing less. I told him that it mainly means to a lot of people that is how you become a member of the 'church'. This is there way of allowing you to vote. OOOOH! We talked a little bit about it more, and I basically told him, that he needs to pray hard about it and then make sure he is doing it for the right reasons, which wouldn't be to just become a member of the 'church'.

This is what Scott and I are trying to get out of. The church we just left has two wall mounted paper towel holders for the sanctuary's double door handles. Everyone was disgusted at this and they were all saying that we should be taking better care of their 'church' because it was their place of worship and blah blah blah. HELLO DID I MISS SOMETHING???? What about the people????? WHat about that stranger that came into the SERVICE and walked out bored! What about all of those people who still think that you are only baptized to become a MEMBER????? What about those people that attend every single freaking 'church event' there is and is still very confused about why we should be looking towards Jesus? I'll tell you what. Nothing right now. The relationships are weak. The realtionships are on a Hello and Goddbye basis and end there. The friend of mine who I spoke of earlier was thought of as a strong Christian because he attended everything!!!!!!!! I have only been actually talking with him for five months, and I am probably one of the very few if not the only one person who knows of his walk. Guess what I did that the others didn't: I asked questions! I got to know the guy! I talked to him everytime we saw each other! I shared many parts of my life with him! I vented to him a couple of times. I showed him by doing all of that , that I was a human being that believes in Christ and isn't perfect! I showed him my opinions then asked for his. Imagine that? All it took was a little time and I made a relationship. He now comes to me frequently with a lot of questions about God, beliefs and the bible. I always tell him that I don't know all of the answers, especially to the question about baptism, but I will try to help him find the answers he is looking for. All of those 450 people that go to his church probably couldn't say that about him. And that is sad. HE GOES THERE TO THEM!!!!! I GO TO HIM!!! See the difference? Okay, there we go again.

Anyways, I don't want to put out there that I am against the building or the people in it. I hope to find a way to present reality to the people in the church rather than scare them away. I have had many talks with a few people about his from our old church, and they seem to understand when I talk about finding ways to get these people closer in relationship. All we ever neede was a place of our own to invite people to, but God may have something else planned for us. This maybe the possible move to Texas. Or where ever. I don't care where we go anymore as long as we can get out of this town to explore other ways of God.......DUM_DUN_DUM!!!!!!!!!!!!